It just didn’t excite me anymore. 

The making, the final vases,
the quiet repetition of hands on clay,
what once lit me up began to fade. 

I would finish a piece, look at it,
and feel nothing. Beautiful, yes,

but hollow.

And if I’m being honest,
I’ve felt this with so many parts of my life.
relationships, ventures, hobbies,

even friendships.

And each time, I’ve faltered.
I’ve ruined so much of what mattered by letting that emptiness take control.

Now I’m starting to realize this moment of darkness is inevitable in anything that lasts.

For me, This time was different.
It was necessary.
This work demanded everything from me.

Letting it go..
treating it like all the others..
that would have been the same as abandoning myself.

In complete darkness, the body slows.
The mind tells you to be careful,
to move with caution, to not stumble.

this is precisely when caution betrays you.

In the dark, you cannot survive by hesitating.

You must move recklessly.
You must throw yourself forward.
Only then can stars be found.

What began as defense became a star.
What began as darkness became my guide.

This is SIRIUS.

The star I had to lose myself to find.

Fragments of a Guiding Star

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